I am aware this post might piss a lot of people off. So, let’s get this started.
I will preface this post with an ego-inflated, yet true statement: I am an extremely competent person. Thanks to excellent training from my mother and willingness to self-learn, I am very good at what I do. And what I am not good at doing, I learn.
Over the decades, these skills have not gone unnoticed. I have been called on for more favors than I can try to collect in a lifetime. So, I am here to say this to anyone and everyone: I am done. I have helped everyone I legitimately wanted to help, and those I really didn’t want to but did so anyway, because I’m occasionally too damn a nice person to say “no”. Either pay someone to do that shit or figure out how to do it yourself. I had to. And here’s the story.
My sister (equally as competent and also called upon to do favors all the time) and I had our first taste of event organizing was our parents 25th anniversary. I must have been about 22 at the time. Together, we did the invites, secret video (using Powerpoint and a VCR), filmed congratulations, and basically ran the event. Oh, people noticed. The young Pereira sisters did the whole event?? And then came the requests. Montage videos, DJing, hosting, organizing, invite designing, mass readings, reception hosting, ushering. All these involved meetings, our time. But we did it. Ok, I’m switching this back to me. I did it. I helped people. Why? Because it was their special day, their wedding, their anniversary, their birthday.
And yet, when it comes to our events, few people step up to offer their help. Why? Because they don’t think about it? Or because we know we can manage it? And it is because of this complete inconsideration, I am done.
So, no, I don’t want to:
- Design your wedding/birthday invite
- Do any readings at your wedding
- Create your event video montage
- DJ at your event or do your playlist
- Organize your event (or help you plan it)
- Cook for your event
- Be at your reception desk/usher
- Design your logo (or anything else design related) for your business
I know this makes me sound like an utter bitch but unless you’ve been in my position, you would not understand. In fact, you’re probably the kind of person that asks people for favors all the time. If I help you, and you’re a close friend of mine, you’d know I do it with all my heart and don’t want anything in kind. However, if you’re reading this and suspect it’s about you, it’s probably about you. If the shoe fits, and all that. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
So before you think of me as a bitch, as yourself this:
- Have you asked any of these favors from me before WITHOUT me offering my help?
- Have you offered me help in return for anything I’ve done?
- Have you spoken to me since I did any of these favors for you?
- Have you at least made an attempt to be in my life, take me out for drinks, since I helped you?
And yes, there are people I have spent my time and effort on to never hear from them again.
If I want to help you, I will offer. It’s really that simple.