Why do I get all the crazy mothers?
As a single woman, without any children – I have come to realise, that I don’t have that much of a problem relating to young mothers. I have instead, realised, that they have a major problem trying to even hold a conversation with me.
Before I take this post further, I would like to say this does not apply to all young mothers. Ok, disclaimer over – start rant.
Why do I get the impression that majority of young mothers, delivered their brains out along with their babies? “An epidural and a lobotomy, please”. I recently had the great displeasure of meeting a completely lunatic mother. There is the possibility that she was already a lunatic, prior to motherhood, but in the first five minutes of meeting me, she hit me a conversation killer, that actually left me speechless.
Crazy mother (CM) sits next to me: SO, DO YOU HAVE KIDS??? (the CAPS is to emphasise how extremely loud she was. Her baby in her arms must have been deafened)
Me: (slightly taken aback): … No, I don’t.
CM: ARE YOU MARRIED????
Me: (shifting slowly away): … No, I’m not.
CM: AND YOU’RE WORKING FROM HOME?? WHY ARE YOU WORKING FROM HOME WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE KIDS???? YOU’RE SEVERELY LIMITING YOURSELF FROM MARRIAGE!!
Me: (praying a decade of the rosary in my head): ………… Are you married?
CM: WHATTT??? OF COURSE I’M MARRIED, I DIDN’T HAVE MY CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK
Me: It happens.
CM: OOOOHHH! I LIKE YOU! I LOVE TO TEST PEOPLE WHEN I MEET THEM!
Psycho bitch alert goes off.
So, yes, while there’s a distinct possibility that she’s always had lunatic tendencies, more often than not, young mothers open up a conversation with, “Do you have kids?”
Will this make us best friends, if I do? Are you not going to talk to me anymore if I don’t? Where do we go from this question? I did receive a slight variation once, of, “Are you a mummy?”. I swear I threw up a little bit in my mouth at that one.
The first question of the conversation almost always identifies how a person validates their life. “What do you do?” is probably the most often asked question – as a lot of people do validate themselves through their work. You don’t ask someone if they have a job, though – which is the working equivalent of asking them if they had kids. It’s fine to validate your life with your family, but please don’t assume the same of everyone. Aren’t there an infinite amount of questions you can choose to ask someone to start a conversation? “So, you have any plans for the weekend?” “Do you live around here?” “That’s an unusual name, what inspired your parents to name you that?”.
I can hold perfectly intelligent conversations with many people – but I find that young mothers lack the confidence to approach a complete stranger and spark a conversation unless it’s on this ground. Once again, this is not directed at every young mother. And yet, mothers who have kids for a while, don’t ever start a conversation that way. Young mothers who have jobs or are fulfilled in other ways, don’t start a conversation that way. So, if that’s your opening question to everyone you meet, I suggest you get a hobby.