The Person, Persona and Personality.

It has been recently raised to me that I might want to “look into” toning down my personality. When this kind consideration was communicated to me, I was so deep in shock that I did not bother clarifying this recommendation (does it really need any clarification?) and immediately went into a whirlwind of assumptions and general miffs.

A couple of weeks later of cursing and confusion, I have decided to pretend to be a rationale adult, and actually consider the weight and value of this point of view. Is there any truth in it?

Female members of my family (and this is already evident in my 4 year old niece) are raised to be outspoken, independent and dramatic. It’s encouraged and amuses when we’re growing up and looked upon with pride when we’re older. We’re considered strong women. But does being a strong woman mean that you have be talking all the time? Can strength also be measured by silence and resilience?

I am, without a doubt, talkative. I don’t think I know any person who’s met me for more than 10 minutes who can declare me, not chatty. When did this become a negative aspect of one’s character? Isn’t a chatty person infinitely more interesting than a quiet mouse? Or do we return to the adage of “empty vessels make the most noise”?

When does a person’s persona get mistaken for their personality?

I would like to believe that I speak intelligently most of the time (not counting that discussion on Toy Story last Monday), with clarity and confidence. I am not excessively chatty at the workplace (although people do need to communicate from time to time) but I have realised the problem may not be with the amount of chatter but rather with the fact that I offer an opinion, at all. Do you mean to say that pretty girls can think too? Surely ye jest!

Of course there may be differing opinions, but I’d like documented evidence, please.

My response to being asked to “tone down” my personality?

“I don’t think I can and I know that I don’t want to”.


2 Replies to “The Person, Persona and Personality.”

  1. What was the context the remark was made and by whom? … are they someone you respect or they an idiot?

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with being chatty and people who talk a lot are entertaining to hang out with, BUT like everything there has to be a balance. “They” often say talkers never listen and some chatty people come across, even if being entertaining, as very self-involved and this can be very annoying and tiresome.

    I have a good friend who is like this and has been mortified when friends have pointed this out to her as she does think and care about others, but her mind is totally dominated by her own worries and issues.

    I believe Dale Carnegie in his book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ said the key to being a good conversationalist was to talk less than the other person.

    Being opinionated is good, but offering opinions all the time, especially when not asked for, can also be quite tedious and could come across as inflexible.

    If you are happy in yourself then just carry on the way you are, but a bit of self-evaluation, as you’ve done, is always good now and again. None of us are perfect … although didn’t you once tell me you were? 😉 … but if you’re okay with your personality then don’t bother changing, there are always going to be people who don’t like you no matter how much or little you talk.

    Perhaps go the other way, tone up your personality?!

  2. The comment was from someone I would consider a bit of a twat (diplomatically speaking).

    I guess it’s hard to gauge my personality online (it’s a kinda ‘see it to believe it’ thing). But I’d like to think I’m considerate of others in conversations. 😀

    What I chose to take from that comment was not the level of chattiness but more the level of assertion – especially coming from a female (this is in conjunction with other comments made).

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